Difficult Conversations
Eight different scenarios are role-played in this DVD, showing people in organisations having conversations which are considered difficult in some way due to the emotions involved.
The emotions we predict in others, or experience ourselves, make it difficult for us to deliver a professional and coherent message, especially if we are dealing with anger, embarrassment, fear or stress.
We created this DVD in response to questions we are asked on courses and in the coaching room:
But how can I tell them they talk too much when they are just being friendly?
How do I deal with someone who’s always ‘pulling a sickie’ on a Monday?
How can I get past their constant negativity?
How on earth can I tell someone they need to wash more?
When customers complain, I can’t fix their problem, so what should I say?
How can I get someone to make a decision when they constantly dither?
If you are a trainer or coach, and you’d like to visually demonstrate concepts for dealing with difficult conversations, this DVD is for you.
Overview & Key Learning Points
Staff Sickness
Miranda has to deal with a staff member who has taken sick leave on several Mondays over the past few months.
Key Learning Points
- Have written evidence of absence
- Ask for their views
- Check for underlying issues
- Be clear about what you want to happen
- Be clear about what the outcomes may be
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The Know-it-all
Richard manages a team member who has all the answers, but often doesn’t come up with the results he wants. She often tries to brush away any concerns he has with her optimistic (but rather unrealistic) outlook and comments.
Key Learning Points
- Be clear on outcomes required
- Ask for a demonstration
- Create timescales
- Divide task into measurable pieces
- Monitor progress
Social Chatting
Richard has to deal with someone who chats too much in the office. At first he tries dropping hints but she doesn’t pick up on his attempts to get her to stop talking. In the second scene he tackles the issue more directly.
Key Learning Points
- Tackle the issue
- Talk about examples
- Explain the impact of the behaviour
- Ask for agreement
Dealing with Negativity
Miranda has to deal with a manager who does not like change and always brings up the negatives when she tries to implement improvements. At first she allows him to persuade her and is ground down by his negativity. In the second attempt she addresses his behaviour and attitude in a more direct and constructive way. She also challenges him when he calls her ‘love’.
Key Learning Points
- Acknowledge their view and experience
- Challenge inappropriate language directly
- Label the behaviour you are facing
- Have examples of other incidents of this behaviour
- Explain the impact
Garden Centre
Clive is faced with an angry customer who has been waiting for a delivery all day. In the first scene Clive doesn’t take any responsibility for the problem and is unhelpful. His behaviour towards the man loses the company their customer. In the second scene Clive is more personable, takes responsibility and seeks to solve the problem. He also apologises and offers a small token to regain the customer’s goodwill.
Key Learning Points
- Greet with a handshake
- Acknowledge mistakes
- Take personal responsibility
- Show empathy to customer’s situation
- If possible make a goodwill gesture
Customer Complaint
Alison answers the telephone to an irate customer who has had the wrong sofa delivered. At first she blames the customer for the mistake and makes no attempt to fix the problem. In the second scene she shows good customer service skills, asking open questions and showing care for the customer’s problem.
Key Learning Points
- Give your name
- Ask open questions
- Show empathy
- Check details for contact
- Check what the customer wants to happen
Dealing with Indecision
Kathy is trying to get Clive to decide on his holiday dates as she has to plan an event that needs his attendance. At first she sends him off with an open ended request and hopes that he’ll come back with an answer. In the second scene Kathy asks Clive to come back to her, but this time sets a deadline and an alternative outcome if he doesn’t make a decision.
Key Learning Points
- Don’t get drawn into detail
- Explain the impact
- Be firm and clear
- Set a deadline
- Take control of the outcome
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Personal Hygiene
Key Learning Points
Be straightforward
Show empathy
Give the person a chance to come up with solutions
- Make helpful suggestions if appropriate
- Reassure them that the problem can be solved
Difficult Conversations
Training DVD
£150 plus VAT
How we use the ‘Difficult Conversations’ DVD
In our training courses, we use the DVD as part of a session to help people to understand and identify the more common mistakes people make when having difficult conversations in a work situation. We ask participants to identify their own areas for improvement and to practice, and get feedback.
• First we play the introduction and ‘getting it wrong’ scene from a relevant scenario.
• We ask course participants to identify ten things the person dealing with the situation gets wrong during the short role-play.
• We lead a discussion about whether these are common mistakes, asking if anyone has examples of similar experiences they have had in the workplace, or indeed, if they are guilty of these themselves.
• Participants can then be asked to role-play a similar scene, but this time trying to improve the situation. (An alternative to role play is to ask them to list the key changes they would make and how they would make them.)
• The final scene or scenes can then be played from the DVD and lessons are drawn from facilitated discussion with the course participants or coachee.
Remember the role plays are not perfect, they represent real life. Ask the participants what they think, and then you may want to make comments on other options or approaches the individual has open to him or her in order to deal with the situation shown.
On most courses we select one or two scenarios which we think are most suitable for that business, or that people have identified as problems they have faced before. You may, of course, just want to show the more positive examples on the DVD, and you may choose to use the bullet points on the slides following the scenarios to lead further discussions.